Right after I got married, I posted about "The Wedding Advice Nobody Gave Me" and mentioned how important I felt it was to prepare to be married in the temple by praying, reading scriptures every day, and even discussing these things with a fiancee. I still maintain that it's the best wedding advice-- and I will continue to give that advice to anyone wanting some!!
But this week has caused some reflection. I have one more piece of advice for young married couples. It is this: if at all possible, find an elderly couple in your neighborhood or who attends your church and become friends with them.
When Ryan and I moved to Eagle Mountain (right after we got married) I was a wee bit cross. I did not like living so far from my friends in Provo and Salt Lake. I had a very difficult time and I was lonely. Then one Sunday, I sat in a Women's meeting, and an elderly lady commented, "Whatever happened to being friends with all the neighbors and stopping by to say hello??"
That comment struck me, and I decided that evening to make some cakes and deliver them to some neighbors as an attempt to make some friends. Ryan and I visited our immediate downstairs neighbor, and then the neighbors the next flight down-- who turned out to be that elderly lady from church, and her husband. We came inside and started chatting with them and soon became good friends.
That was the beginning of our friendship with Boyd and Carol. Ryan started picking them up for church, we met up for dinners, took them to the Provo City Center Temple Open House, sang songs together, took them to the opera, and had lots of really amazing chances to learn what life is about and to see two elderly people completely still in love.
They had their troubles-- with finances, health, and caring for their own family. They were normal. Yet they were joyful. And it helped Ryan and I to stop focusing so much on ourselves, and to help them. We love our grandparents and have tried to help them through the years, but we don't live close by them. I like to think our interactions with Boyd and Carol symbolize our hopes for what others will do for our aging grandparents.
Boyd passed away last week. His health troubles had been a heavy burden on Carol for some time and we had tried to lend a hand however we could. He is in a better place now.
I am so grateful that we didn't waste time in getting to know our neighbors and delighting in them, serving them and growing. I do not write this to aggrandize myself or to make it sound like I was doing a charitable act by befriending them. The truth of the matter is that Boyd and Carol did far more for us than they will ever know. As they were friends to us, we gained so much.
Take the chance to make some new friends. Especially friends with others who have different and more varied life experience than you do. You'll cherish those memories.
But this week has caused some reflection. I have one more piece of advice for young married couples. It is this: if at all possible, find an elderly couple in your neighborhood or who attends your church and become friends with them.
When Ryan and I moved to Eagle Mountain (right after we got married) I was a wee bit cross. I did not like living so far from my friends in Provo and Salt Lake. I had a very difficult time and I was lonely. Then one Sunday, I sat in a Women's meeting, and an elderly lady commented, "Whatever happened to being friends with all the neighbors and stopping by to say hello??"
That comment struck me, and I decided that evening to make some cakes and deliver them to some neighbors as an attempt to make some friends. Ryan and I visited our immediate downstairs neighbor, and then the neighbors the next flight down-- who turned out to be that elderly lady from church, and her husband. We came inside and started chatting with them and soon became good friends.
That was the beginning of our friendship with Boyd and Carol. Ryan started picking them up for church, we met up for dinners, took them to the Provo City Center Temple Open House, sang songs together, took them to the opera, and had lots of really amazing chances to learn what life is about and to see two elderly people completely still in love.
They had their troubles-- with finances, health, and caring for their own family. They were normal. Yet they were joyful. And it helped Ryan and I to stop focusing so much on ourselves, and to help them. We love our grandparents and have tried to help them through the years, but we don't live close by them. I like to think our interactions with Boyd and Carol symbolize our hopes for what others will do for our aging grandparents.
Boyd passed away last week. His health troubles had been a heavy burden on Carol for some time and we had tried to lend a hand however we could. He is in a better place now.
I am so grateful that we didn't waste time in getting to know our neighbors and delighting in them, serving them and growing. I do not write this to aggrandize myself or to make it sound like I was doing a charitable act by befriending them. The truth of the matter is that Boyd and Carol did far more for us than they will ever know. As they were friends to us, we gained so much.
Take the chance to make some new friends. Especially friends with others who have different and more varied life experience than you do. You'll cherish those memories.
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